Salad Ahoy!

GMail Hack Needed

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:56:31 -0500

Anybody know how to keep GMail from disclosing the outcome of the sporting event I recorded at home this morning?

Well, at least it wasn’t the most important stage in the three-week bike race.

"When I was twenty, I was a totally different kind of asshole."

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:46:52 -0500

“When I was twenty, I was a totally different kind of asshole.”

- Ben Karlin, field testing The Fountainhead for Coudal Partners’ Field Tested Books

My only complaint about this is that it’s the opening line for a short essay rather than for a novel.

Leotard’s gonna help you save faceWhen you just...

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:36:57 -0500

Leotard’s gonna help you save face
When you just don’t wanna wanna wanna go to second base

—TacocaT, “Leotard,” Shame Spiral (2008)

Started the weekend fixated on Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” and am ending it with this song stuck in my head. Just goes to show the power that music with a message can have.

Once More Unto the Breach, Dear Friends

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:28:18 -0500

M: http://projects.flowingdata.com/walmart/
M: I liked watching Texas hold off the invasion, until I realized they just didn't have the data entered into the database properly.
H: That’s some scary stuff.
H: Except for I need to go to Walmart today and pick something up. Thank goodness there’s one close by.

Technical Support Question

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:35:10 -0500

I’ve looked in the Apple troubleshooting section and haven’t had any luck so I thought I’d see if anyone knew how to fix this problem:

This morning we were out for a brisk walk and it seems that someone accidently set my dog on shuffle.

"Tens of thousands of years of inexorable evolutionary history made manifest by predators and tidal..."

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 08:07:58 -0500

“Tens of thousands of years of inexorable evolutionary history made manifest by predators and tidal cycles and the North American sun will not be so easily cast aside in a matter of days, no matter what some Harvard-mouthed yachstman may have read in last month’s ‘Esquire’.”

- Brian Minter on strategies for combatting jet lag, Bears Will Attack: The Travel Diaries

New Incentive to Buy Monthly Pass

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:08:11 -0500

Number of ticket vending machines at the light-rail station I use: 6

Number that are out of order: 1

Number that appear to work but do not, in fact, accept coins: 3

Number of trains I missed this morning while discovering these facts: 2

When Little Jimmy said that the snail-racing scam both was foolproof and would avoid the threat of...

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:06:00 -0500

When Little Jimmy said that the snail-racing scam both was foolproof and would avoid the threat of blows from our marks, I didn’t realize we would have to wait until everyone who placed a bet decided that it wasn’t worth sticking around to see who crossed the finish line first. Asshole could’ve told me to bring my Crazy Creek.

"The economy is doomed, the price of everything is going up: So how are you preparing?"

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:28:00 -0500

“The economy is doomed, the price of everything is going up: So how are you preparing?”

- From the Editors, The Morning News

In the last two weeks, I:

• Bought a brand-new SUV
• Started negotiations with my boss about dropping down to 30 hours a week

It’s called counterprogramming, baby.

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:20:18 -0500

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:19:51 -0500

"If you have anything to take in a bottle, pass it around; a man who drinks by himself in such a case..."

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 08:32:39 -0500

“If you have anything to take in a bottle, pass it around; a man who drinks by himself in such a case is lost to all human feeling.”

- Stagecoach etiquette for 19th-century trips into Steamboat Springs, Colorado (via Leslie Kehmeier, “The ‘Boat,” Bicycle Geography)

—Stephanie Echols, “Scream”

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 17:30:00 -0500

—Stephanie Echols, “Scream”

"I have to ask myself, can I explain it to my 11-year-old daughter? I’d have considerable..."

Fri, 30 May 2008 13:58:00 -0500

““I have to ask myself, can I explain it to my 11-year-old daughter? I’d have considerable difficulty.””

- Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), talking about Al Franken’s satirical piece “Porn-O-Rama!” in Playboy, published eight years ago (source, via)

I’d like to see the difficulty you’d have explaining to your wife why you were trying to discuss the pornographic contents of a Playboy article with your 11-year-old daughter.

Dear Liza, Dear Liza

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:53:23 -0500

Just got back to my desk and saw on the caller ID that the HR manager tried to call me. He also sent an e-mail: “call me.” I called and he said that the director of finance needs to see me and asked if the HR manager could track me down. I went back to the director of finance’s office and she said that she gave an envelope to my boss for me. Which he had given me at the start of the meeting I was in when the HR manager tried to call me.

I guess I should be thankful that at no point were ponies engaged in the delivery of my message.

Slogan Seeking Sleeveless Shirt

Tue, 27 May 2008 15:47:30 -0500

You’re not trash to me.

"I can tell we live in a patriarchal society because in a matriarchal one the man’s pill would make..."

Fri, 23 May 2008 12:00:11 -0500

“I can tell we live in a patriarchal society because in a matriarchal one the man’s pill would make him infertile and the woman’s pill would threaten to give her a four-hour orgasm.”

- Kevin Guilfoile, in Guilfoile and John Warner, “The Bitterest Pill,” The Morning News, May 13, 2008

Realty or Porn?

Sun, 18 May 2008 07:28:14 -0500

Phrases on yard signs in my neighborhood:

I’m gorgeous inside!
See my virtual tour online
Sparkling pool!
For sale
I show like a model!

I know that for about 15 years, there was probably no one who...

Fri, 16 May 2008 18:18:00 -0500

I know that for about 15 years, there was probably no one who wrote more great pop songs than you guys, Chris and Glenn, but $45 for a space to stand?!

Charles Grandison Finney “The structure of...

Fri, 16 May 2008 17:36:00 -0500

Charles Grandison Finney

“The structure of [Finney’s] mind is altogether peculiar. The logical faculty is developed in an unusual degree, and hence there is a tendency to argument in excess. He reasons on and to the extreme of redundancy, often laboring to explain that which requires no further explanation, and needs no further proof. He is, moreover, strongly addicted to the metaphysical and analytical, and hence whatever he touches becomes more or less arrayed in a dialectical costume. These peculiarities might, at first sight, seem somewhat to unfit him for pulpit labor among the million; but it is otherwise: he succeeds either through or in spite of them.”

— John Campbell, 1851, quoted in G. Frederick Wright, “A Biography of Charles Grandison Finney,” 1891